My Water Birth 02-27-2021
This was my second birth (third pregnancy) and I wanted to take all that I learned from my first (good and bad) and apply it to my second to create an even better birth experience. I found out I was pregnant very early, because we were trying, and I wanted to find out before Father’s Day to surprise my husband, so I took an early detection pregnancy test. Then, I began thinking about where I would want to give birth and get prenatal care from, since we were in a new city and State. I was open and considered all environments; hospital, birth center, or home birth. I knew for sure I wanted a Midwife practice. That model of care was very important to me. For my first birth it was with a Midwife group within the University of Colorado hospital system. So, I gave birth in the hospital with a midwife. I will also post my first birth story, along with my loss, but I wanted to start with my most recent birth because it is almost her first birthday!!
My first birth left me feeling powerful, strong, and like a badass, but there were things I wanted to change for the next time. I wanted to have a more intimate and natural experience, and for me, I ultimately realized that didn’t look like a hospital. I did not enjoy that environment. It was a bit too chaotic and not a place where I can relax and get in my birth “zone”. I wanted it to be the most natural and comfortable setting, for the best chances that I could be the most calm and relaxed. And ultimately enjoy the birth, as much as one can. To me, birth is a magical, miraculous, and one of the most human experiences you can have. Not to say it’s without struggle or pain, at all. I just realized I wanted an out of hospital experience, without medication or intervention (if possible), so I began looking at birth centers in the area and considered a home birth. Our house was on the smaller side, and I ultimately didn’t like the idea of “hosting” my birth and having limited space. I found a beautiful birth center with an incredible group of midwives that I fell in love with. The energy and warmth of the space was beyond my imagination. It was perfect.
During pregnancy, I made a point to move my body as much as possible and even more consistently this time around. I found a program for hypnobirthing (The Positive Birth Company) so I could learn and practice breathing and mental techniques for a successful, positive mindset. I wanted to build my mental strength and endurance to withstand labor and feel more in control than the first time around. I practiced visualizing how I wanted everything to go, yet letting go at the same time, and had positive birth affirmations (also from The Positive Birth Company) that I posted on my mirror and around the house. I got into the best headspace and positive mentality as I could. I didn’t want fears or negativity to consume me before or during birth. I practiced and finally as it got closer tried not to overthink but let go and surrendered to how my labor and birth would unfold. The unknown can be scary, but I focused on what I could control, and near the end just focused on rest, relaxation, movement, stretching, positive thoughts, and was gentle with myself and body.
It was a Tuesday, I was 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant, when some plans had changed. My sister who was also pregnant, was admitted to the hospital with signs of preeclampsia and within 24 hours had an emergency C-section at 34 weeks pregnant. I had just seen her that morning before she went to the hospital at her house, she watched Josefina while I went to my 39-week prenatal visit. She expressed that she felt nauseous and vomited earlier that morning. She knew something was off and called her doctor. My husband and I began discussing plan B and C. My sister and family were lined up to watch Josefina whenever I went into labor. We didn’t have any other family immediately close by or close friends that we felt comfortable enough with AND could be immediately available. We still felt relatively new to the area as we moved shortly before the Covid-19 pandemic. As I was talking to my parents in Colorado about a new plan, my dad quickly offered to fly out the next day or two to stay with us until we had the baby. My parents were already planning a road trip and would be there the next week on my due date and planning to stay for the next month to help both my sister and I welcome new babies. They would’ve come a little earlier, but my mom was waiting to receive her second Covid shot and couldn’t get it any earlier. My dad was already fully vaccinated, so he was more flexible and could fly in a moments notice. They asked when I thought I’d want him to be there. I did not feel comfortable waiting until nearly 40 weeks pregnant. Josefina arrived at 39 weeks and 3 days, and I just had a feeling Lola would come around the same time. It would likely be within the week, and I wanted him there as soon as he could get there (if possible). I was immensely grateful and relieved, I cried tears of gratitude after making plans with them over the phone. He flew out the next day. He arrived Wednesday night, February 24th. The day my nephew and his eighth grandchild was born. The next day was a sunny, beautiful winter day where Josefina and I enjoyed the day with my dad. We took a walk and they played. I had some time to rest, clean, and cook. But mostly rested. The next day, Friday, was officially the full moon and so I hoped that would help get labor started. Near the end of pregnancy, you’ll hold onto any myth or wives-tale in hopes something is true. There was a moment overnight I thought I was starting to have contractions or felt off, but then it subsided. So, I carried on with what I had planned. I went to bring my niece to school early that morning, since her parents were at the hospital with her new baby brother, then went grocery shopping for last minute things for the week ahead (fully prepared that was the last time I went to the store pregnant) and finally, spent time on the birthing ball that evening, speaking affirmations to myself and trying to practice patience and relaxation. I went to bed hoping it’d be the night, but fully prepared to not have anything happen.
Well, I was correct about the good vibes of the full moon. Early Saturday morning, February 27th, around 3 AM, shortly after I felt the first few surges (contractions), I rolled out of bed because I couldn’t stay relaxed. I thought, “This is it, I’m having my baby girl today.”, as I glanced out the window and saw the captivating snow moon. I was 39 weeks and 3 days (yup, the same timing as my first birth). I woke Pablo, then immediately got in the shower to help ease my back pain. I wanted to do this before things escalated, since my first birth moved quick. I felt it way more in my back this time. I had two or three surges in the shower, it seemed to already be progressing intensely. It was becoming difficult to breathe and stay relaxed through it (active labor already??). After the shower and dressing comfortably, I double checked our birth bag and added to it, then I continued to labor on our bed with Pablo by my side. I leaned into him through every surge. I tightly gripped his shirt or neck. He counted my breaths so I could focus on calm, deep breathing, and nothing else. I eventually yelled that I needed more positive encouragement. I was clearly struggling to remain calm and positive. We found our rhythm of affirmations, breathing, and physical touch to combat the forceful discomfort. I continued labor on all fours on the bed and bent over pillows during rest and then hung around Pablo’s neck or gripped his arms during a surge. I found those positions worked best for me. Pablo kept track of the timing and length of the surges. Around 5:00 AM they were 5-6 minutes apart. From my past experience, this was getting close to the end (wouldn’t take much longer until they were 2-3 minutes apart) and I didn’t want to wait much longer to go to the birth center. I wanted to get there early enough to get comfortable before pushing started. We called the midwife on-call number again (we called them at the beginning around 4 or 4:30, but I can’t recall). I could hear another woman in labor on the other end. They said to give it a little more time, for most it was still very early. We gave it 30-40 minutes then called back to insist on coming in. We left the house at about 6:00 AM to make our way to the birth center. I hung around Pablo’s neck to make it through a surge before climbing in the truck. We waved goodbye to my dad as we backed out of the driveway. He watched over Josefina (as she was now awake from the commotion watching videos on her tablet) while he sipped on his coffee.
The part I dreaded the most ended up being the most calming and meditative phase: the drive to the birth center. I found a comfortable/bearable position to stay in the whole ride. I bent over the backseat with my back against the door and my left leg bracing myself on the floor. I bent over or sat up-right. I took in the pink and blue sunrise with the glowing snow moon on the horizon. As we took a right out of our neighborhood street, I focused on the morning’s beauty and said a prayer. Then, I kept my eyes closed the whole way, and focused on my breathing and the relaxing music playing.
We arrived a little after 6:30. As soon as I walked into our room, I dropped everything and stripped to my bra and underwear. I leaned against the birthing tub and breathed through a surge. I pushed down on my feet and went high on my tiptoes, feeling the tension. It was an intense and difficult one, as I wasn’t comfortable in the space just yet. Then, I went to sit in a chair for my vitals to be checked, and I just sobbed. I felt safe, at peace, joyful and calm. Amid the most intense physical experience of my life, I knew I was also in the middle of something beautiful and miraculous. I was full of gratitude and my hormones were surging. I was just overcome with emotion. The room was warm, the lights were dim, the tub had blue/purple lights in it, the women in the room spoke softly and quietly, it was a truly peaceful place. It felt like my space and place, I commanded the room, everyone else just supported me and offered guidance.
The tub wasn’t ready just yet, it was still filling up and getting to the perfect temperature. Someone from the birthing team suggested I try going to the bathroom and sitting on the toilet for a little bit. I can’t even remember if I peed or pooped, but I believe my mucus plug came out then. I remember seeing blood. Those moments are a blur now, I just remember being very uncomfortable and couldn’t wait to step into the warm tub. I was eventually brought over and helped in. My husband turned on my birthing playlist (found several on Spotify) and stayed near me the whole time, right next to the tub. I stayed on my knees huddled in one corner, similar position, and method to when I was laboring on my bed. I didn’t know the whole time how far dilated I was, and yes, a part of me so badly wanted to know, but I’m so glad I never did. There is something about just being in it, letting your body and mind ride the labor and birthing wave. In the moment, listening to and feeling your body. When I tuned in, I knew deep down I was almost there, that it wouldn’t take much longer, but of course I doubted and needed some reassurance from a midwife. She said I was very close.
After what was maybe ten minutes in the tub (it’s so hard to recall, time doesn’t make sense at this point), I could feel my water break, it felt and sounded like a pop. I was encouraged by Pablo and the midwife team to listen to my body and try to push if it felt right. It did and I was determined to meet our baby girl and be done with this as quickly as possible. I was encouraged to put one knee up (like I was proposing) by a midwife, that in their experience that is a helpful position for pushing. I got comfortable in that position and then a sense of ease and excitement came over me as I heard the song “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri. For some reason it pumped me up and gave me motivation to stay strong. I love that song and it reminded me of our wedding (that song played while the wedding party walked down the aisle). I was told I pushed strongly yet gently. It was about three pushes and ten minutes until we met our baby girl. In less than an hour of our arrival, Lola Mae was born into warm waters at 7:29 AM. It was nearly perfect. It was the best, most raw, human experience, and happiest day of my life.
When I think about that birth, I am so grateful and proud.
I let my body birth my baby. I had to let go of control, listen to it, and trust it.
It was extreme feelings of intense physical pain and intense emotional highs.
It was joy, elation, happiness, and gratitude, clashing with the most intense athletic experience of my life.
It was a process of surrender and a practice in relaxing my mind and body, no matter what. As soon as I felt my body tensing or my mind straying and spiraling, I just refocused. I shook it off and reminded myself to relax and breathe. I spoke positive affirmations to myself. It’s ok and normal to start tensing and begin to doubt yourself, but it’s about recognizing that, letting it go, and coming back to the breath and positive thoughts. It literally is one breath and moment at a time, and we can get through anything.
-Margo Game Brandenburg
